Homeless

Yahaira Rosas 

English 105

The world is very difficult to live in. It is challenging to live in the world if you don’t have the basic necessities to go by every day. It’s even more challenging if you’re homeless. Homeless people have always been looked down upon. In the United States, it’s very difficult to be socially accepted when you’re homeless. Once you’re homeless, things seem to get difficult by the day. No matter what has happened to them in order to be homeless they are always treated badly. Speaking for myself, I treat everyone with respect no matter what.
-this is an extremely vague 1st paragraph and intro to your article.  Almost every sentence is too broad to the point I can barely paint a picture of what you mean to help me follow you.  
-what do you mean "difficult to live in", "challenging to live in the world", "basic necessities", always been looked down upon", "difficult to be socially accepted" "difficult by the day", "always treated badly"... see what I mean?  
-consider narrowing your introduction as you continue to develop it.  By narrow your topic I mean remember that this article is about the homeless population in California so you don't want to stay too broad.  

                In almost every city you go to there is always a homeless person in it asking for food, money, drinks, etc. If you ask anyone about homeless people you’ll get very different responses. Positive, negative and mixed views about the topic. I would have to be in the mixed views categories based on the experiences I have had myself. Some people don’t support these homeless people because of a bad experience they’ve had. With just one person lying to you about their economic status and stating they’re homeless then it starts to stereotype every homeless person. Now you automatically think every homeless person is lying and using their energy to ask for something other people have worked very hard to earn.
-this paragraph is clearly discussing the spectrum of feelings we have towards the homeless, but I like how you connect this spectrum of positive, negative and mixed to stereotypes.  Develop this idea more so that this connection is clearer.  It would be helpful to discuss where negative stereotypes and representations of those who are homeless come from and how those representations influence people in a variety of ways.  

                I interviewed one homeless man today named, John. He is a Vietnam war veteran who suffers from PTSD.  He first joined the Vietnam war when he was 16 because his older brother had died when he was deployed. After the war, he struggled with his PTSD and soon became homeless. He believes in his God and knows God does things for a reason. His everyday struggles in finding somewhere to get his necessities and having to be ignored by people and making him feel like a non person. He is a very cheerful and positive person despite his struggles he is having in his life. 
-what is the point of including John in your article?  Is he an example of someone who challenges negative stereotypes? Is he an example of how we treat others based on stereotypes? 
- is this enough info to convince your reader of either of those options?